Even field Negroes like to play.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Hating On Five



Folks, I, live in a cruel town; where the fans are so starved for a championship, and so fickle, that no superstar is safe from ridicule, and every performance is judged by their last. Which leads me to my man Donovan McNabb, or as he is affectionately called here in the "city of brotherly love"; Five. Well, lately, it seems Five has had some issues, or so the Philly media says. If you believe the stories, he was jealous of Jeff Garcia, -our cities latest Rocky reincarnation that took the iggles two deep into the playoffs- he was mad at the team trainer, he was pissed off because he was not allowed to go to New Orleans with the team, and he is mad at the fans for dissing his Mama after she had some not too smart comments on his blog. (Something about Five being upset with the way Garcia was getting all the love, and the iggles successes being bitter sweet)

But back to these fickle ass Eagles fans. Listen, I love my iggles, but I hate their fans. Many of them are flat out racist ignorant brutes, who would just as soon sell their first born to cover a spread, and who would pack up and move in a New York minute if they saw a black man moving in on their block. But still, they bleed iggle green, and they love their players -black and white- well mostly white, and, to be fair, they would cheer for the Jolly Green Giant if he could bring them a championship; just one stinking championship!
So they are killing Five. I guess all those conference championships, a trip to the Super Bowl, and all those wining seasons didn't matter. I guess all the spectacular plays, and wonderful memories didn't matter. (Wait, is that Ms. Jackson I hear singing? "What have you done for me lately") No, not in the city of "brotherly love" where our only true sports hero is a fictional one.

But to be fair, Five is not totally blameless. The guy is way too sensitive, and he comes off as a Mommas boy. Philly hates a Mommas boy. Just ask Eric Lindros, another Mommas boy who was driven out of here. And I really don't think his teammates appreciate his company man, house Negro, demeanor. Now the guy is getting over one hundred million from the company, so f**k it, I guess I would be a company man too. Then there is the booing he got on draft day, he never forgot that and he won't let it go. But hey, if it motivates him, I guess I can't complain.

So the local papers, and talk radio are all over him, they are loving the controversy because it helps ratings and fires up the masses. So the iggles have a real dilemma on their hands. Do they bring Rocky Garcia back and threaten Fives delicate psyche? Or do they dump Rocky and take a chance that Five's knee is fully healed, and all this negative chatter won't damage him for good?

In my humble opinion, they should get rid of Garcia and bring Five back. Garcia was more lucky than good in his run.(Did you see all those dropped interceptions?) And yeah that whole Rocky underdog rah rah sh** is nice, but it ain't gonna win you any championships. So please iggles, don't be stupid, this is Donovan's team. And in spite of his mom, in spite of his delicate ego, and in spite of his house Negro persona, they ain't going no where without him.

And one more thing: can we have a petition drive in Philly to get talk radio 610 and that buffoon of a morning anchor, off the air? (I see they have one token black, former Eagle, Hugh Douglas, on the station now) I can't stand that clown! And do you think its a coincidence that since he has been on the radio, we have not won a championship? I don't. The man is a flat out jinx, get him off now! And besides, did I mention that Five hates his guts?

4 comments:

Chris said...

http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/welcome-to-negro-bowl-i-231435.php

I saw this and thought of this blog.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Chris, I caught that. The sh** was actually kind of funny:)

Anonymous said...

Here's my take on Donovan (since I meant forever to write this up and never did): I think he's a great QB, but he's shown by now he just can't stay healthy, so they need a backup who understands the system and can obviously run it well. That's Garcia.

If McNabb could make it through next season without tearing or breaking or rupturing something, then you move Garcia, until then you gotta have somebody in there who can step in and run the team for the inevitable horrible McNabb injury.

field negro said...

Cp-sign with you about Fives health problems...but do we really want to go a full season with Garcia? As I stated above, there are times that I thought he was more lucky than good.